fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
