I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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