You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
