don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
