a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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