I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
