she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
