My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
