she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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