I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
