im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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