He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
