You made me cry and you don't even care
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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