So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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