If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize