I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
