You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
