I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
