The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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