There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize