I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
