I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
