I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
how does that bad decision feel?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
