suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I love you.
Bad choice
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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