the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
