Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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