i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
