mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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