it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
