i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize