don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
