My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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