Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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