There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
