mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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