im having a threesome with these popsicles
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
