just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
its liver damage thursday
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
