2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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