guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
