Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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