Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We're like a lot better than the average bears
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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