Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
