May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
