East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
