I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
