Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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