Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
