after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
