I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize