My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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