before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
