i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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