I love black thongs
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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