He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
