every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
