alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize