So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
