just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
well you can't waste a boner
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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