yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
