I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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