im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
