Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
