Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
40s are totally the cure
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
