About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
